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An Alphabetical Review of the Best and Worst of CES 2019

The ABC’s of the baffling, and awe-inducing products debuted at CES.

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Turns out the future involves bendable screens, air taxis and “smart” everything.

Those are among the 26 conclusions you’ll find in this year’s ABCs of CES, our alphabetized guide to the best and worst tech on display at Las Vegas’s annual ode to gadgetry.

Our post-mortem proves that the tech world is full of promise, particularly if you’re excited by autonomous vehicles or augmented reality.

Or “smart” diapers. Quite a future we’ve got in store.

Find our A-to-Z list below.

Image from Mercedes-Benz.

A is for autonomous, one of CES’s biggest buzzwords of the last few years but most promisingly on display last week with the modular Mercedes-Benz Vision Urbanetic.

B is for Bell Nexus VTOL, the mini-aircraft that’s going to populate Uber’s air taxi program

C is for cats, which you may want to buy after experiencing the self-cleaning LavvieBot, an intelligent litter box.

D is for diaper, something you’ll get to change more frequently thanks to Monit’s new built-in pee/poo sensor.

Image from Samsung.

E is for eight, as in 8K television, a standard we really don’t need … yet.

F is for flexible, as in Royole’s upcoming collection of foldable phones, keyboards and smart speakers.

G is for Google, which announced its AI Assistant will be on one billion devices by month’s end, including Sonos, Samsung TVs and Google Maps on your phone, and will also now provide instant language translation.

H is for the Hurricane 360, a three- or four-seat thrill ride with 360-degree rotation and built-in VR. In other words, it’s a tiny futuristic roller coaster.

I is for ION Audio, makers of a snazzy retro cassette boombox (with modern-day Bluetooth).

J is for Jabra, which debuted what could be a standard-setting set of smart headphones that adjust noise-cancelling based on the environment around you.

K is for kooky (and makers Kitoki), which describes this cedarwood device that’s supposed to replace a vape with nothing but wood and air.

Image from LaMetric.

L is for LEDs, which power LaMetric Sky’s smart, cool, color-changing mosaic wall panels.

M is for Matrix, which is, yes, the simulation we live in, but also the company behind a new wearable (the PowerWatch 2) that runs only on solar energy and body heat.

N is for Numi 2.0, the updated “intelligent” toilet from Kohler that offers interactive lighting and music capabilities (and heated seats) while you go about your business, along with Alexa controls.

O is for over-the-air power, plug-free energy via Powercast that air-charges your Nintendo Switch controllers (and soon, hopefully other energy-draining devices).

P is for Ponga $3,000 coffee table that updates the classic Atari game for your living room.

Q is for QuietComfort, the namesake tech from noise-cancelling gurus Bose’s industry leading headphones will now be used in their car stereos as well.

R is for rollable, a new concept from LG in which your giant 4K TV screen disappears (well, curls up) into an aluminum base.

S is for stress, or what a Garmin/Mercedes smartwatch collaboration hopes to mollify by identifying your road rage early on and syncing your car’s lights, music and AC for a calming effect.

CES
Image from Teslasuit.

T is for Teslasuit, a sure-to-be-renamed bodysuit that provides haptic and biometric feedback, making it the ultimate gaming wear, particularly in immersive AR/VR environs.

U is for useless, which is how we’d describe the $980 Foldimate automated laundry folder.

V is for Verde, a treadmill that turns your running into usable household electricity.

CES
Image from Hyundai.

W is for walking cars, like the f*cking terrifying four-legged concept Hyundai decided to march out.

X is not for X-rated, but rather the x-tra stupid decision by the Consumer Electronic Association to take back an innovation award for a personal massager from female-staffed startup Ose … but still allow sex robots and VR porn.

Y is for yachtwith the “world’s smartest” arriving from Furrion (think AI, facial recognition, voice control, smart mirrors, etc.).

And Z is for zinger, which is what NextDraft’s Dave Pell lobbed at the not-so-smart gadgets of tomorrow.

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