16 Dumbest Holiday Gifts of 2016

Stocking filled with coal (Getty Images)
Stocking filled with coal (Getty Images)

 

Need a last-minute holiday present? Don’t buy one of these! Because these are 16 of the dumbest gifts of 2016.

 

1. Johnny Manziel Cleveland Browns Jersey

(NFL Shop)
(NFL Shop)

 

The Browns are currently 0-14, so any Cleveland gear would seem a poor purchase. But a Browns jersey featuring the name of Johnny Manziel, who no longer plays in the NFL, is extremely unwise. Customized Cleveland Browns Jersey, $150 and up

 

2. Crappy Holidays Ugly Sweater

(Stupid.com)
(Stupid.com)

 

The ugly sweater phenomenon appears to be here to stay. So we are not necessarily anti-ugly sweater. But this one, emblazoned with Crappy the Snowman, is gross. Crappy Holidays Ugly Sweater, $43

 

3. A Very Expensive Photo of a Potato

In January, this portrait of a potato by Irish photographer Kevin Abosch sold for more than a million dollars.  To obtain it from this person, you would have to pay even more. We recommend you don’t. Potato Photo, more info here

 

4. Samsung Galaxy Note7 Phone

A Samsung Galaxy Note 7 lays on a counter after it was retuned to a Best Buy on September 15, 2016 in Orem, Utah. The Consumer Safety Commission announced today a safety recall on Samsung's new Galaxy Note 7 smartphone after users reported that some of the devices caught fire when charging. (Photo by George Frey/Getty Images)
(George Frey/Getty Images)

 

This fall, the Note7 phone was recalled after users reported that some of the devices caught fire when charging. So yeah, don’t buy this for someone. This would be a bad gift. And possibly illegal. Samsung Galaxy Note7 Phone, more info here

 

5. Mitsubishi i-MiEV

An i-MiEV electric automobile, manufactured by Mitsubishi Motors Corp., sits on display on the second day of the 86th Geneva International Motor Show in Geneva, Switzerland on Wednesday, March 2, 2016. The show opens to the public on March 3, and will showcase the latest models from the world's top automakers. Photographer: Chris Ratcliffe/Bloomberg via Getty Images
(Chris Ratcliffe/Bloomberg/Getty Images)

 

The i-MiEV was the lowest-rated green car of 2016 according to Consumer Reports. It’s one of the cheapest all-electric cars available, and for good reason. It’s slow, clumsy, and a stiff ride. Mitsubishi i-MiEV, $22,995

 

6. Cyberoptix Wormhole Necktie

(Cyberoptix)
(Cyberoptix)

 

Don’t get us wrong. Cyberoptix makes some attractive ties. But these wormhole ties are not them. Cyberoptix Wormhole Necktie, $36

 

7. Whisky Stones

(Uncommon Goods)
(Uncommon Goods)

 

We know, we know. They keep your drink cold and they don’t melt like ice. But they look strange. Plus, “whisky stones” sounds like something your father had to pass after much discomfort. Whisky Stones, $36

 

8. Sake Making Kit

(Uncommon Goods)
(Uncommon Goods)

 

The chances of you producing a tasty sake with this kit are low. The chances of you making a mess (and wasting a few hours) are high. Here’s a better option: a bottle of sake. Sake Making Kit, $57

 

9. Cifra 3 Flip Clock

(Cifra 3)
(Cifra 3)

 

We know what you’re thinking: This one actually looks kind of cool. We agree. But it’ll cost you at least $650. Not nearly worth it. Cifra 3 Flip Clock, $650 and up

 

10. Pocket Kim Wisdom

(Urban Outfitters)
(Urban Outfitters)

 

A book of wisdom from Kim Kardashian? Sounds like an oxymoron. Go for a book like this instead. Pocket Kim Wisdom, $10

 

11. Face Coin Bank

(Ali Express)
(Ali Express)

 

There’s no way around it. This coin-eating face bank is creepy. Nobody wants this thing staring at them all day. Face Coin Bank, $10

 

12. Yoga Hosers DVD

(Amazon)
(Amazon)

 

This Kevin Smith film is racking up the “Worst Film of the Year” awards. (Dishonorable mentions: Dirty Grandpa, Mother’s Day, and Swiss Army Man.) Yoga Hosers DVD, $25

 

13. Avocado Halves Socks

(Urban Outfitters)
(Urban Outfitters)

 

It’s a paradox. We love avocados. But we don’t love these socks. Avocado Halves Socks, $8

 

14. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis’ This Unruly Mess I’ve Made

Cover art for the album (Macklemore LLC)
Cover art for the album (Macklemore LLC)

 

Their latest album is not good. Says who? Everyone. This Unruly Mess I’ve Made, $11

 

15. Wine Twirls

(Aldea Home)
(Aldea Home)

 

Yes, they probably work a little. But nobody wants that in their drink! Wine Twirls, $20

 

16. Leather Wrapped Stone

(Armitage & McMillan)
(Armitage & McMillan)

 

Last but not least: This rock. Which is wrapped in leather. But the leather should be called an $85 machine. Because it magically turns this hunk of ordinary stone into something that sells for $85. The worst part? This product has somehow sold out! Leather Wrapped Stone, $85 (currently not available)

—Shawn Donnelly for RealClearLife


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