Leslie Mann and Paul Rudd in This Is 40 (2012)

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Real Women Share Advice on How to Rekindle the “Magic” in the Bedroom

Your partner will thank you for this.

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Although being in a long-term relationship means you build trust, support and stability, it also means that sometimes, you lose those spontaneous lustful interludes. But don’t worry, Inside Hook spoke to 12 real, sex-having women about the one thing guys can do to help rekindle the flame when things go stale in the bedroom. Your partner will thank you for taking this advice.

Hailee Walker
Couples counselor
“Slow things down. When we are in a long-term relationship, we tend to forget to kiss. Kissing releases oxytocin, which is the chemical that makes us feel in love and also adrenaline that makes us feel excited. Spend around 20 minutes just kissing and it is bound to rekindle that spark.”

Erin Parisi
Mental health counselor and addictions professional
“It starts way before the bedroom. Pay attention to her, give her a sexy compliment (somewhere in the R-XXX range), flirt, touch her in a way she likes (foot rub, shoulder rub, kisses on the neck, playing with her hair, booty squeeze) and do what you can to show her she’s wanted. Tell her about the time together you think was the best, and describe to her what was so hot about it.  Then put her needs first (even if it means sacrificing your own in the short-term!). I also encourage people to try to incorporate memories from the beginning of the relationship — recreate a date you went on early on, or a favorite pastime.”

Samantha Daniels
Dating Expert and Founder of Samantha’s Table Matchmaking
“Choose a different bedroom. Sometimes having sex in the same bed night after night, year after year gets really dull. A simple little change like doing it in another room of the house, on the floor or even on the kitchen table can definitely spice things up. Also, be romantic along with being sexual. Remember how in the beginning, when the two of you were first dating, you would put on music, painstakingly choosing romantic ‘fool around’ music, light candles, use massage oil, dim the lights, etc.? Go back to that. Recreate the beginning and spend time bringing romance back into your bedroom.”

Gina Yannotta
Head Matchmaker and COO of The Vida Consultancy NYC
“Sexting is a surefire way to create sexual tension. Injecting some excitement at a completely unexpected moment is a fantastic way to reinvigorate your sex life and let her know you remember exactly why you fell in love with her in the first place. Get her hot under the collar and struggling to concentrate in her weekly staff meeting. A vividly explicit description of exactly what you’re going to do to her can be just as hot as something more subtle and understated — a sly tease about a surprise waiting for her later that night.”

Read the full story at InsideHook