Late Night Skewers Michael Cohen for Selling Access to President Trump

“You paid for insights into this administration?”

Stephen Colbert skewers Trump attorney Michael Cohen after newly released financial statements (CBS/YouTube)
Stephen Colbert skewers Trump attorney Michael Cohen after newly released financial statements (CBS/YouTube)

Late night had a field day after several major companies, including AT&T and pharmaceutical giant Novartis, acknowledged that they paid Trump’s personal attorney, Michael Cohen, for “insights into understanding the new administration” after the president was elected.

“You paid for insights into this administration?” Stephen Colbert cracked. “He’s a horny old racist who likes cheeseburgers more than his children. $200,000, please!”

The information came to light after Stormy Daniels’ lawyer Michael Avenatti released bank statements online belonging to Cohen’s shell company, Essential Consultants L.L.C., the New York Times reports. Cohen reportedly paid Daniels, whose real name is Stephanie Clifford, using the company — and also received payments totaling upwards of $1 million from an American company linked to Russian oligarch Viktor Vekselberg.

“Essential Consultants LLC sounds like how a porn website would show up on your credit card bill,” Seth Meyers joked, ripping Cohen for putting his real name on the documents. “Dude, if you were going to set up a secret shell company to pay off a porn star named ‘Stormy Daniels,’ you could have at least given yourself a porn name — like, I don’t know, ‘Soggy Mike.’”

Even apolitical Jimmy Fallon took a shot

“It’s pretty crazy — the Stormy Daniels money could be traced all the way back to Vladimir Putin. In response, Putin said, ‘Donald can spend allowance however he wants.’”

Take a look at the clips below.

The InsideHook Newsletter.

News, advice and insights for the most interesting person in the room.